I've lost 50 pounds! And I'm not talking British money, baby!

Well as most of you know, the past 11 months I have really been trying hard to lose weight. Namely the baby weight that has crept on from my two pregnancies in two years. Well, I am 3 pounds away from reaching the 50 pound mark! This is both an accomplishment and sort of an embarressment. I am happy that I have almost reached my goal but the other part of me is kind of disgusted that I let it go that far. My weight has always been an issue with me. In high school I always thought I was "fat". Looking back, I would K-I-L-L to be that size but I was in fact bigger than most of the other girls. The fact that I was 6 feet tall didn't help the matter, either. I would always tell myself that I would marry "the tallest guy" I could find. Enter Ned, who's 6' 7''! That was a mere coincidence as I would never marry someone just for thier height. Anyway, back to the weight thing...so when I got married I felt like I was the thinnest I had really ever been. But soon after I gained the dreaded "newlywed 20" as I call it. Anyway, I had Tatum after 3 years of marriage and while I didn't really gain a ton of weight, I did gain some and I just had grown so accustomed to the extra 10 pounds that I just kind of went along and forgot about it. Then I got pregnant with my Carson. Again, I didn't gain too much with him either but the newlywed 20, combined with 15 pounds from Tatum AND Carson piled up to be a big problem. It seemed like all at once I was just big. It was hard for me because Ned is a former College athlete and has always prided himself on being healthy and in shape. I went through a depression about it for about 6 months. I didn't know what to do or where to start. I kept waiting for that "ah-ha" moment that everyone talks about. I seriously thought I would just have this life changing moment where all of a sudden I would get up and run 5 miles and never eat another cookie again and life would be better because I would be thinner. I am here to tell you...the "ah-ha" moments don't exist. They just don't. One of my favorite spiritual thoughts is that Heavenly Father doesn't make you patient or a missionary or a good mom or whatever. He gives you opportunities to become what you want. So if we want to be a member missionary, He doesn't all of a sudden go "you're a great missionary". No, He gives you chances and experiences that eventually lead to being the person you want to become. Well it's the same with being healthy. It is impossible to one day wake up and be perfect at working out and eating right. But we can't focus on that, and we have to take it one opportunity at a time. I am grateful that my friend, Amy Ellis came into my life when her husband got stationed at NAS Whidbey and moved into the Ward and right down my street. She had wanted to lose weight and had been walking around the neighborhood. I asked if I could join her and that became our daily routine. Soon we were walking 5 miles a day and when the weather got too cold, we switched to the gym on base. Now I am working out everyday at the gym with my sister in Utah and lifting weights and really watching my diet. It's hard. Every day is a struggle but the changes in my life have been amazing. It has been both a physical and spiritual transformation. And of course, I still have work to do. I am not there yet, and I may never look like "the ideal woman" and that's ok. Anyway I wanted to share my personal story in hopes that someone out there can take something from it. I never thought I would be able to share a story about me losing 50 pounds. I thought I would always been destined to heaviness. But as I get older I am realizing that we have the incredible gift of choice and the ability to change! So that's my story and it's not over yet. I will be on this journey the rest of my life and I appreciate you coming along for the ride!