You can't have it all...

I have been thinking a lot lately on priorities and the price that you pay for wanting to (forgive the phrase...) have your cake and eat it, too. Most of my days I often catch myself saying that there aren't enough hours in the day. Especially this past year, sleep has taken a back burner in my life. I've been up all hours of the night with a baby and making cakes for virtually no pay at all. So what's the pay-off for all of this? Love. Love of my children. Love of what I like to do and want to be. I have wrestled with this internal struggle of wanting a career in the cake industry. Would I be doing my children a dis-service? Would I be gone from them? What sacrifices would our family have to make. When Tatum was little I "just wanted to be a mom. Nothing else". But as I've grown a little bit within motherhood, I've realized what a mother is. A mother is a nurturer. A mother cares. A mother loves. A mother teaches by example. What kind of an example would I be to my children if I preached all day to follow their dreams and reach for the stars. And then do nothing for myself? What kind of a teacher would I be to tell my kids they can be whatever they want...but then the minute you have kids...it's over. Children aren't little forever. This is a time to savor thier innocense. But it's also a time to prepare. The stay at home mom thing for me is fulfilling, but I know in my heart that I want to not just teach my kids balance...but SHOW them. So I will continue to press forward. I will continue to love being a mommy and love cake design. I always thought I had to choose. But I'm slowly realizing that I can be 3 people. A wife, a mother, and myself. As long as the 3 compliment each other, it's a nice balance. I may not be able to have or do it all. But I can do what I can...and do it well. I hope that my kids are proud of me. I hope they realize that I value myself and that I'm important, too. To demonstrate otherwise would be really sad, because afterall...I was once taught that I can reach for the stars, too.